Love in Every Drop: My Personal Relactation Journey

This blog is 7 months in the making. To tell you the truth, I didn’t write it before because there’s a level of transparency this post is going to have that I wasn’t sure I was ready to share outside my circle. Before I am a lactation professional, I’m a mother. In March of 2020, I made the decision to relactate. Relactation is the process of bringing back your milk supply. It’s something I’d read about and wantonly told parents “Sure, it’s possible” without ever really doing it myself. I want to pause here to say, you don’t have to personally relactate or induce lactation to know how to do it. There are many talented Lactation Consultants who can walk through the process with you. This post is simply about how I was able to personally connect with parents in this situation.

My Journey

When people ask me why I chose to relactate, I generally give them the answer that requires the least explanation, which is Covid-19. I believe wholeheartedly in the immune properties and protection of breastmilk. At the onset of Covid-19, it just made sense. But, the deeper reason was…. I missed breastfeeding. I exclusively pumped for SonShine from November 2017 (birth) to February 2019. Having an oversupply, I had milk stored so that he could have milk 6-8 times a day until January 2020. When I hung up my pump, it was bittersweet. He was still being breastfed (because pumping is breastfeeding and milk from the breast is breastfeeding), but the “break” I thought I so desperately wanted wasn’t all I thought it would be. I watched my rainbow baby, my only child grow leaps and bounds and become more independent by the day. I felt a little useless. I served a purpose before; for 2 years (9 months and the 15 I spent EPing) his life literally depended on me. It was a lot, but it was….. I was needed. My family and I drink cows milk. One day, SonShine asked for milk. I gave him a cup of cow's milk. He sipped it, looked up at me, handed me the cup, and said “No, I want milk.” “This is milk.” I followed him to the cabinet where I stored his cups, plates, and all food things for kids. He grabbed my flange. “I want milk.”

I had complained and rejoiced so much that I was done that I felt kind of foolish missing breastfeeding. I mentioned it to my husband, who seemed confused and perplexed that I wanted to start again.So, I let it go. So you see, Covid was just an excuse to relactate. I wanted to do it anyway.

I live in Virginia and at the onset of Covid-19, I received many messages from parents, wondering if breastmilk provided any immune protections, fearful of a formula shortage, just….. confused and afraid. I’d been a donor my first go round of breastfeeding and thought…. Why not? Although I was not able to donate to HMBANA milk banks (due to rules and guidelines), I was able to do some peer to peer sharing.

So, how’d I get started. That’s why you’re here right? Aight, so boom….

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I knew I could relactate because I could still hand express drops. Yes, even after 13 months.

I began relactating on March 15, 2020. I had just returned from what would be my last in-person conference of 2020 (Lactation Consultants in Private Practice, LCinPP for short). I spent a weekend with some of my favorite LCs, specifically my dear friend Whitney Dula and her 6 week old little Biscuit. I think the fresh smell of baby got my oxytocin going. I came home and got out my Spectra S1, my 28mm flanges, collection bottles, and got to work. I was not as committed to relactating as many of my clients were and so, I won’t lie and say I followed my own advice and pumped every 2-3hrs around the clock. I pumped every 3 hours from the time I woke up until bed. That placed me at 6 pumps a day, with one of them being a power pump. My breasts were sore from the added stimulation and I only produced drops per day. I was using my Spectra S1 and purchased an Elvie for the hands free aspect. SonShine was now two and a half and home due to having a pre-existing condition that makes him part of the vulnerable Covid-19 population. I needed to be hands free with him running underfoot. I used the Elvie three times a day and during one power pump. The rest of the time, I used my S1. After a week of this, I decided to take my own advice and see an IBCLC. My good friend and mentor, Bryna Sampey, IBCLC, specializes in trans lactation (assisting transgender parents with their milk supply) and I thought, let me consult with her. She asked if I was familiar with the Newman-Goldfarb Protocol; I was. But, I needed clarification on exactly what it was I needed to do. Like the amazing IBCLC she is, she broke it down for me. I began taking birth control pills (MiniPill) to simulate the changes breasts experience during pregnancy. We decided that I’d like to do the Newman-Goldfarb Accelerated Protocol because Covid-19 had me freaked out. I increased my pumping schedule, staying at 6 times a day, but making TWO sessions power pump sessions.

*Note: The Accelerated Protocol recommends NOT pumping during this time. But, I don’t follow instructions. Not following instruction absolutely negatively affected the amount I was able to produce. Ok keep reading...*

There are other protocols that yield better results because you have longer preparation time, but I was impatient. I also began Domperidone. After 3 days, I had an allergic reaction and had to stop immediately. I went back to my IBCLC and she recommended Moringa, a common galactagogue. No reaction with that. After a month on birth control, I stopped that and was strictly pumping and taking Moringa. At my peak/after 1.5months, I was producing 11oz per day. I continued to pump and store for my son and peer sharing through July. In July, my supply began to drop. I experienced a pregnancy and miscarriage and after that, I didn’t have the motivation to continue.

Takeaways

Set realistic expectations. I had no idea what to really expect. Before, when I exclusively pumped, the process of breastfeeding was easy to track. Colostrum at this week. Mature milk by this week. Etcetera, etcetera. With relactating, there were so many unknowns. Is this enough for this timeframe? Should I be making more? Is it worth it? I was also used to an overabundant milk supply. When I relatacted, I produced a fraction of what I made before. It gave me a tiny bit of perspective into the countless parents and clients who struggle with making enough for their babies. But, I was so happy with my little 10-11 ounces per day, it may as well have been a gallon. I think the most important part was having someone to go through it with me. Bryna brought a perspective that, even with my education on the topic, was invaluable.

So, that’s it. That’s my relactation journey. This is one of my lengthier posts, but I hope you enjoy! 

Here’s a collection of my posts about it in real time from my personal Facebook page: 

https://www.facebook.com/saved/list/10101037738261729?isCollaborativeCollection=true 

These are DAILY totals, not per session.

These are DAILY totals, not per session.

Pumping while Working from Home

My dear friend Whitney and I have been going back and forth for an entire month about who was going to write this blog post. COVID-19 has knocked all of us on our butts and quite frankly, your favorite LPs (lactation professionals) are just as confused as you are. One thing we’re still figuring out is how to parent while in quarantine. Specifically……. How to make our scheduled pump breaks. Here’s 5 tips to navigate pumping while in quarantine.

Don’t.

If you're a nursing parent and are quarantined with your nursling, nurse them instead of pumping. If you have a spouse or partner, you can hand the baby off for diaper changes and settling after nursing sessions. Meetings can be scheduled around nursing times or muted when the baby is nursing. This eliminates the need to clean parts when there's already so much more going on. If you’re an exclusively pumping parent or need to offer a bottle during the day, by all means, pump. But, don’t pump if you don’t have to.

Take your regularly scheduled pump breaks.

If you would be given breaks in the office, you are entitled to them while working from home. You can set up your pump equipment in your home work space and take a little mental break. Or you can full stop and go into another room to pump. 

Hands free is the way to be.

Working from home presents a new set of challenges. Your children don’t understand that you're still working and can't watch themselves. If you’re like me, you’re balancing doing gainful work for your corporate job, while navigating the waters of your job as a parent. To free your hands up to cook meals, break up fights, or sneak food into your mouth, utilize a hands free bra. Don’t have one? Resist the urge to shop online and find an old sports bra. Cut two small holes where the nipple would be. I recommend starting with small holes and cutting as needed, so that you don't make them too big. 

If you can’t beat them, join them.

If you have a toddler like I do or older children, try pumping on the floor or in their play space. I know, this sounds like a bad idea. But the concept that you’re actually going to get 15-30 uninterrupted minutes away from your child or children is…. laughable. Sitting on the living room floor, where you’re on their level allows you to be engaged, as well as get those pump sessions in.

Ask for help.

Many of us have never lived through a pandemic. This is uncharted territory for us, as parents as as humans. If you have a partner that lives with you, employ their help. Allow them to handle tasks that they may not normally do or be present for. If you notice you begin to have issues with your milk supply, reach out for professional help. Many free organizations have gone virtual, just like many of us lactation professionals. Baby Cafe’s, La Leche League meetings, etc. are utilizing virtual platforms to connect parents and provide resources. Lactation Consultants are still offering virtual services. 

I hope to see you all on the other side of this thing will full milk supplies! 

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New Years Resolution 2020

As we enter 2020, I’ll admit, I had no resolutions. I didn’t even manage to get my “Year in Review” out in time (still haven't done it). We were 5 days into the New Year before I finally decided what my resolution is.

I’ve decided that this year, I will be more mindful of my professional recommendations and in my interactions with my clients. Yesterday, I was doing my monthly laundry sorting for my 2 year old. Once a month, I hang all his clothes as outfits so that Daddy and I can just grab a hanger and go. Also, I don’t have to worry about any creative Dad outfits that don’t match or are too small. Biweekly, I roll socks and t-shirts. This process just works for our busy lifestyles. On my personal Facebook page, I’m always sharing my parenting hacks, fails, and blunders; I’m pretty transparent that way. I wanted to triumphantly post that we’d survived another month of the Clothing Haul.

And then, I stopped.

Sorting your child’s clothing and only having to do it once a month is a GREAT IDEA….. For parents who have enough clothes for their child to do so. For parents who work as hard as I do or harder and have other responsibilities, it is completely insensitive and tone deaf.

My privilege was showing. And I began to wonder if my privilege shows in the way I practice.

And so, this year, my resolution is to keep mindfulness at the forefront of my practice. I want to be very cognizant of the evidence-based advice I’m sharing, while ensuring the counseling portion of it doesn’t get thrown by the wayside. In a country that does not offer mandated or paid maternity and paternity leave, evidence based guidance to not pump for the first six weeks postpartum does nothing to help that family when Mom has to return to work at 2 weeks. For a client who’s insurance doesn’t cover the cost of a visit and they are paying out of pocket, see a LC comes off as tone deaf. Let Daddy care for baby while you take time to relax is useless self care advice for a single parent. In cultures where family plays a huge roll, “tell them that you’re the parent!” does nothing, but add more stressed to new parents.

Used with permission from Kristin Cavuto, LCSW, IBCLC

Used with permission from Kristin Cavuto, LCSW, IBCLC

I want to inspire my clients and assist them in whatever their goals may be. I want to provide best practice and evidence based research while applying it practically. I want to advocate for the working class and the non working class. I want to serve. The need for evidence based care does not negate the need for empathy, sympathy, and compassion based care. 

I believe that as lactation professionals, we have to hold ourselves to a certain standard. In order to affect change, we must be willing and able to serve. We must be willing to meet our clients exactly where they are and help them get to where THEY want to be, not where our education tells us they should or could be. I’d like to think that I'm a pretty good counselor and clinician. I listen to my clients, I’m open-minded and I walk in to every consult ready and willing to serve. However, that doesn’t mean there isn't room for improvement. And in 2020, I am reminded that I need to hold myself responsible for checking my privilege.




#DaddyCanDo #MommyCanDo #PartnerCanDo

One of the most common questions/concerns I see in the online support groups I work with and in person is: “My husband/partner is concerned that if I nurse, he won’t be able to help with feedings.” While feeding a new baby is definitely an important task, it’s not the ONLY task. Baby feeding at the breast does not in any way negate the importance of the non lactating parent. Here’s a few things Dad/Mommy/Partner can do to foster a bond with baby and normalize breastfeeding!

#DaddyCanDo 

(Hashtag originally created by Nzinga Jones of Black Breastfeeding Mamas Circle) 

Daddy/Mommy/Partner can:

• Do bath time 

• Do bedtime routine

• Bring baby to Mama if not co-sleeping/bed sharing

• Watch baby while Mama showers/takes a quick nap

• Be in charge of all non-emergent doctor visits (A big one in the Clark Household)

• Wash pump parts (Daddy Clark is GREAT with this one)

• Wash bottles

• Cook dinner

• Do grocery shopping

• Do baby’s laundry

• Prep bottles for daycare

• Let Mama go first when asking “How was your day?”

• Ask how her day was

• Apologize for her day being sucky even if you didn’t have anything to do with it

• Ask her if she’s ok. All the time. Constantly. Even when she says she is, offer to help out.

• Encourage her. Tell her she’s doing a good job. Chances are, she thinks she isn’t.

• Share your T-shirts. Y’all got us in this pregnant situation, let us be comfy in your oversized shirts.

• Be open minded about breastfeeding.

• Be open minded and willing to compromise on parenting decisions.

• Hear her out.

• Don’t add to the pressures that society places on us. We have to deal with opinions about breastfeeding day in and day out. Don’t make us hear them at home. 

• Stand up for her when she’s challenged about breastfeeding or parenting in general. E S P E C I A L L Y if it’s YOUR family doing the challenging. 

• Be there. Be present. Mentally and Physically.

This woman is taking care of your child, day in and day out. That is mentally and physically taxing. MAKE SURE SHE IS OK. This is how you build a bond with your child. By ensuring his/her mother is ok.

Daddy and SonShine at his first dentist appointment (6months)

Daddy and SonShine at his first dentist appointment (6months)